anxiously i await the day that i'll be accepted in your eyes.cruel demise.try after try.i'm shot down.tired of being rejected.you act as if i'm infected with some disease.im not the type to get on my hands and knees.and beg you please.you've got bad judgement.im no criminal.im just cynical.paranoid and laced with insecurities.insanity has its grip on me.well,not me,cuz im not me.but you know what i mean.if you understand a junkie [at least].emotions held inside.for a long time.you dont want to know whats in my mind.so i'll just say im fine.eyes uncontrollably focusing on anything but you.its cuz of a pill thats blue.thats why i've become mute.wide awake.how many miligrams did i take?i forgot.my stomach's in knots.i feel like a robot.im in a daze.heading the wrong way.addiction's never exactly a good thing.anxiety + depression = frustration.adderall numbs the pain within a euphoric state.no time for love or hate.100% fake.shadows every direction i look.chasing me.or maybe im just insane.its something i cant avoid.im becoming annoyed.my thoughts are aggrivating.everything i do leaves me aggitated.something's horribly wrong.im hearing noises but im all alone.theres voices in my head,maybe thats it instead.im just fucked up in the head.desperate screams for help-not for attention.im fucking insane havent i mentioned?theres a wall built up of tension.self esteem at an all time low.youd have to be completely stupid if you didnt know.tweaking out and freaking out.dried up mouth.tons of self-doubt.in and out.i dont have a problem.or am i just in denial?my hearts somewhere in a junk pile.its been there for quite a while.you cant hurt me.im emotionless.you cant break me, im already a mess.theres no time for rest.life's one big test.and i can guarantee i'll fail.at the adoption clinic i didnt sell.how am i you ask?im perfectly fucking swell.what the hell.whats in my future,i dont know.im following a long road and dont know where its going.losing friends one by one.in the end i'll have no one.they all run.im just spun.